


an ache; unceasing

by tigerlo



Series: i'll hold for now (but we'll meet before the end) [1]
Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Character Study, F/F, Fluff, Introspection, Nicole's POV, Pre-Relationship, canon adjacent?, through to first kiss and actual relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-20
Updated: 2017-09-20
Packaged: 2018-12-31 22:23:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12142377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tigerlo/pseuds/tigerlo
Summary: The first time Nicole Haught sees Waverly Earp, she falls in love.Introspective character piece from Nicole's point of view.orNicole's progression across season one through her interactions with Waverly.(part one of a two part character study)





	an ache; unceasing

**Author's Note:**

> So I don't know how to best summarise this and I know I won't do it justice but I will say i've been working on it for what feels like forever now and it's tremendously close to my heart. 
> 
> This was born from me day-dreaming about little scenes that I thought would have fit around canon, other interactions Nicole and Waverly could have had beyond what we were shown that could have contributed to or sat alongside their blossoming relationship as we saw it. Also from wanting to get into Nicole's head a little more too?
> 
> This first piece covers season one and the second will be season two. It's canon compliant and covers bits of canon from my Nicole's perspective but mostly inserts little scenes along the way.
> 
> In notable diversion from my other wayhaught pieces, this does lack actual smut but *shock horror* that's not everything and wouldn't have fit given they don't sleep together in canon until season two. There are a couple of good make out scenes and part two will have plenty to keep you smut hounds happy.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this, and I hope you like the little scenes and bits and pieces. Like I said, this is pretty special to me and Nicole feels like she has a whole extra piece of my heart at the end of this. She's a pretty cool character team, we've been blessed as a fandom, I think.
> 
> Enough rambling from me, go on and enjoy. And maybe take a hydration packet or something because this thing is huge.
> 
> Without further ado...
> 
> x

**-**

 

**beginning**

**part one.**

 

**-**

  
  


The first time Nicole Haught sees Waverly Earp she falls in love. 

 

Not in lust, although that happens too. 

 

She falls in love. 

 

With a thump hard enough to stop her heart. 

 

She looks into darkness, her eyes blind from the light outside, and focuses on a rundown bar and a flash of white and an honest to God  _ vision _ . 

 

And it might seem mad but she knows that nothing in her life will ever come close to brushing against the vastness of that palm-itching, chest buckling ache that she feels when she sets eyes on the brunette across the room. 

 

Waverly Earp is endearingly flustered in the wake of her obvious advances and maybe it's a little heavier handed than it needs to be but Nicole can't help herself. 

 

Because she sees something she wants. Very,  _ very _ much. And she doesn't want to wait. 

 

But she has to because Waverly's straight. Of  _ course _ she's straight. 

 

Or is she?

 

Because normally straight girls don't blush quite so prettily when Nicole decides to turn on the charm, and Waverly Earp is most definitely blushing. 

 

She's seen a pretty girl before, has been instantly enamoured more than once but this is different. This is stronger. And yes, Waverly Earp is straight and in a relationship but Nicole is  _ patient _ and this doesn't feel like something she should drop quite so easily. 

 

This feels like something she would wait  _ decades _ for if she had too. 

 

Waverly is beautiful when her cheeks redden and it's addictive, Nicole finds. Deeply so. And later it's not a stretch for Nicole to imagine that blush in a different context, to dream of how soft her cream smooth, sun-kissed skin would feel beneath her fingertips. 

 

She sets her pieces for the long game then. She leaves Waverly with her card and a smile that she hopes will trip something deep inside her and if not, she'll wait. 

 

Because Nicole is patient. 

 

And this? She’ll wait  _ years  _ for if she has to. 

  
  


-

  
  


Nicole has never been a jealous person. 

 

Ever. 

 

She hates the emotion, in fact. Has seen it do more damage in her short life through her line of work than bears thinking about. 

 

Jealousy tears down castles and destroys legacies and it's useless, really, but she sees Waverly Earp with  _ him  _ and it slides into an empty bed with Nicole and beneath her bones. 

 

It burns in the daylight and  _ sears _ at night. 

 

Because he knows what Waverly tastes like in the moonlight, when her cheeks are flushed and her breath is strained and Nicole fucking hates him for it. 

 

She runs harder in the pre-dawn light. Her chest burns and her hands claw at the air as she sprints down the deserted country road. She pushes and pushes and pushes herself physically in an attempt to block out the image of them together, but it never fully works. 

 

So she watches instead. 

 

She watches the way Waverly changes around him, becomes less herself, watches the light in her eyes fade just a little. 

 

And then Nicole compares. 

 

She knows it's dangerous and not at all her place but she can't help it. She compares. She watches the way Waverly responds when Nicole is with her and the first time she  _ looks _ it almost steals her breath because the light in her eyes doesn't fade when Waverly is with Nicole. It glows. 

 

And she's worried that it's all in her head, that it's a product of her imagination because she wants so badly for it to be true, but she catches the look on Dolls face once after she shakes sense into herself distracted and almost caught staring, turning his gaze between she and Waverly and he's smiling. 

 

He's smiling a smile that speaks of realisation and a softness Nicole is not expecting with a look that says  _ I think there's something there.  _

 

That he can see a connection that goes both ways. 

 

The warmth doesn't leave her chest for the rest of the day. 

  
  


-

  
  


It almost kills her to let go of Waverly's hands. 

 

Because her shoulders are hunched and her cheeks are wet and Nicole just wants to slap her badge on the bar and push up that stall and take Waverly away. She wants to pull Waverly close and let her heartbeat settle against her own and shut out everything around her, everything that isn't quiet and soft and  _ relief _ . 

 

But there's Champ. 

 

Champ with his cocky grin and his stupid tattoos and his hands that get to move over Waverly in any way that he goddamn pleases, and it takes everything in Nicole not to reach across the bar, to grab and  _ twist  _ until she feels something crack because how dare he. 

 

He isn't worthy, hell she's not sure she is either but she knows he damn well isn't. 

 

But then Waverly reaches, she reaches for Nicole, and it's blind and desperate and uneven but she  _ reaches _ and Nicole's heart trips in her chest. 

 

It's the first time Waverly touches her beyond shaking her hand and it sounds stupid and dramatic but it changes her life.

 

Waverly's hands are warm and they're soft and they're familiar even though there's no possible way in the world they can be because they've never met before, Nicole and her. 

 

Not in this life, at least. 

 

And Nicole doesn't believe in soul mates or true love, at least she didn't before she met Waverly, but she's beginning to change her stance on that. 

 

Because when Waverly touches her, when Waverly reaches for her something Nicole didn't even know was there locks into place beneath her skin that feels like it's been waiting for its equal her entire life and it's just found it in Waverly's hands. 

 

There's just one enormous idiotic problem in the way. 

 

Nicole knows Waverly is a smart girl and initially she hadn't understood what on earth Waverly had seen in him, but then she does her job and she watches. She spends time in Purgatory and she realises that there are a different set of rules here. 

 

Here people settle with lovers who don't deserve them and they're careful and they don't rock the boat because that's not how things are done. 

 

And Nicole realises that Waverly isn't stupid, she's cautious. Because Champ is attractive and a stupid rodeo champ and here, in a town like this that's as good as royalty. He is, unbelievably, a catch even if he cheats and parades around like he owns the place. He's a catch and Nicole is nobody. 

 

But that's ok because she can wait. 

 

She will show Waverly her worth and in time Waverly will understand that she's a catch too. 

 

She has to bunch her fists in her jacket pocket to stop from hitting the smarmy look off his face or knock some sense into him when he comes into the station looking for his father and his eyes unashamedly follow every single woman who crosses his path, regardless of the fact that he's supposed to be committed to Waverly. 

 

But that's ok. 

 

Because he might look like a hero but Nicole is honest and loyal to a fault, and Waverly's a smart girl. She'll see eventually. She'll see that Nicole is a risk, yes, but worth it. 

 

Right?

  
  


-

  
  


“I wanted to say thank you.”

 

Nicole looks up in surprise, almost jumping out of her seat in fright, absorbed as she was in her paperwork not even noticing someone had come in. 

 

“Jesus,” she says, palming her hand to her heart as her pulse thunders. “You scared the  _ crap _ out of me, Waverly.”

 

“I'm sorry,” Waverly says a little sheepishly, her shoulders hunched a little in shyness. “I didn't mean to give you a fright, I just wanted to say thank you. And to bring you a coffee.”

 

The four cups balanced between her hands shake a little as she holds them up as evidence. 

 

“I'm sorry,” Waverly says again. “I really didn't mean to scare you. I just didn't want to disturb….”

 

“It's ok,” Nicole says quickly, quieting Waverly's concern gently. “Really, I’ll gladly be scared if it's you doing the scaring.”

 

“I'm not interrupting?” Waverly asks, gesturing down to the paper. “I can just leave you, I just wanted to say thank you. For the other day after Shorty….I just wanted to say thank you. But I don't want to interrupt.”

 

“No,” Nicole says, reaching across the front desk to touch Waverly's wrist gently. “You're never interrupting, Wave. You're a very welcome presence. Any time, ok?”

 

“Really?” Waverly asks, a little surprised and it hurts Nicole's heart because it sounds like she's honest to god surprised someone would think she was a welcome presence, and what kind of people has she had in her life up until this point if that is the case. 

 

“Absolutely,” Nicole says with conviction, her eyes light and a little flirty. “Especially if you come bearing coffee. For the whole office though?”

 

“Oh,” Waverly says after she looks confused for a moment. “No, they're all for you. I didn't know what you liked so I got them all?”

 

Nicole’s laugh is easy because it's so endearingly  _ Waverly Earp _ to go out of her way for someone like this, but it makes Nicole's palms itch because she's never done that for Nicole before and damn it if it doesn't make her feel special. 

 

“You got them all?” Nicole repeats, her mouth turned up in a smile. 

 

“Yeah,” Waverly says slowly. “I mean you look like a hot chocolate girl but I didn't want to presume so I brought a milky one as well, and something that has chocolate and coffee in it too, and one that's just black in case I was  _ really  _ wrong….”

 

“Waverly,” Nicole says gently, tracing the line of her inner wrist softly in an attempt to slow her down, realising too late that it's probably too familiar a gesture. 

 

She's expecting Waverly to pull away but she doesn't. Her eyes find Nicole's fingers but they don't draw back or remark, instead just watch with a kind of soft curiosity. 

 

“Sorry,” Waverly says a little sheepishly as she looks up to Nicole with a shy smile. “I ramble when I'm nervous.”

 

“You're nervous?” Nicole asks with a curious curl at the edge of her mouth, hope leaping in her chest, because if Waverly's nervous then that means….

 

Nicole's eyes soften as she looks at Waverly, trying desperately to get a read on her but she really isn't giving anything away. The neutrality on her face isn't practised though, it's contemplative, like she's trying to work out what's happening in her head too. 

 

Something changes behind Waverly's eyes then, because she's staring at Nicole but she stops looking in the distance and her focus falls to Nicole, looking  _ at _ her and not to something intangible in their future. 

 

The desk is between them so neither of them can move but if it wasn't Nicole would have taken a step forward, just to test Waverly's response, because Waverly's eyes drop to her lips and stay there and it's very clear in that moment what her thoughts are focused on. 

 

Waverly opens her mouth to speak, to say  _ what _ Nicole has no idea but Nicole's heart rate pounds harder and harder regardless, and the pulse of the room seems to still and suspend in the air around them. 

 

“Nicole, I….” Waverly says, her breath catching before a ball of interruption comes barreling in through the door. 

 

“You shouldn't have,” Wynonna says pouring her presence into the room behind Waverly, heading immediately to hover over the hot drinks. 

 

“Oh wait, which one is Miss Law and Order’s hot chocolate?” Wynonna says screwing her face up as she pauses above them. 

 

“They're not for you,” Waverly says sounding annoyed, trying to bat her sister away but Nicole catches the grin when she registers that she was right about Nicole's drink choice regardless. 

 

“Well then who are they for?” Wynonna asks obliviously, screwing her face up in a frown. “It's not like Haught’s going to drink them all, is it?”

 

“No,” Waverly says with a sigh, throwing an apologetic glance to Nicole as Wynonna pushes Waverly aside to open the lids of each hot drink until she finds the one she wants. 

 

Wynonna hovers around Waverly for a second, clearly looking for something before Waverly turns to her with a scowl. 

 

“What?” Waverly shoots, annoyance painting the sweetest lines in her forehead that Nicole almost immediately falls in love with, fighting the urge to move forward and smooth them out with a kiss. 

 

“No donuts?” Wynonna says with a disappointed frown before Waverly gives her a push in the direction of her office. 

 

“Next time there'll be no coffee either,” Waverly grouses before Wynonna gives up the ghost and breezes out of the room as suddenly as she had come in, throwing one last parting comment over her shoulder before she disappears entirely. 

 

“I know you haven't been putting out lately but maybe you should, that mood of yours is only getting worse and worse baby girl.”

 

Waverly blushes a deep crimson at Wynonna's words, not that she's even in the room to see her handiwork, and Nicole tries so hard to keep her face neutral, not wanting to spike Waverly's obvious embarrassment further but the smile slips at the edge of her mouth in spite her taking her lip between her teeth. 

 

“She didn't mean….” Waverly says, trying to cover as her blush deepens. “I mean, I haven't had the patience for Champ lately and Wynonna has some kind of supernatural radar for….”

 

She breaks off, looking to her hands curled around Nicole's drink having rescued it from the carry-tray and Wynonna's greedy hands. 

 

“I'm rambling again, aren't I?” Waverly says, not bothering to sweep her hair away where it's fallen down around her eyes. 

 

“You are,” Nicole says, rolling her options between her palms before she  _ decides _ , sliding off her chair to walk around and stand next to Waverly. “But it's very cute.”

 

“It is?” Waverly asks, biting her lip in a move that makes Nicole hungry. 

 

“ _ Very _ ,” Nicole confirms as she moves closer, far enough away that there's no risk of touching but close enough that she can feel the warmth from Waverly's body. 

 

Because she doesn't want the contact in the next few seconds to be an accident. 

 

She wants it to be meaningful. 

 

So she takes one more half-step as she moves into the curve of Waverly's hip, her hands brushing whisper soft but electric over Waverly's as she takes the drink from her hands. 

 

Nicole pauses, a second longer than you could forgive to be strictly platonic, settling distinctly into  _ I'm flirting with you _ as Waverly’s eyes fix. 

 

“Thank you for the hot chocolate,” Nicole says with a grin that makes her eyes dance, not moving back an inch. “Excellent guess by the way.”

 

“You're welcome,” Waverly says, frozen still gaze locked on Nicole's lips again. 

 

“And Waverly?” Nicole asks, ducking her head to catch Waverly's attention. 

 

“Yeah?” Waverly says distractedly, her eyes glassy. 

 

“If you ever want some slightly more mature company, you know where to find me,” Nicole says with a smirk as she finally takes a step back. “Anytime, ok?”

 

“Anytime?” Waverly asks curiously, staring at her hands where Nicole touched her as if expecting to see a mark there. A burn maybe. 

 

“Anytime,” Nicole says once more, her voice delicately sure. 

 

Waverly smiles and it's soft and hopeful and shy and so lovely it makes Nicole feel like she's floating, because it's directed at  _ her _ and no one else in the world. 

 

Waverly doesn't say anything else but she blushes again and it makes Nicole feel warm. 

 

“Maybe I could make you dinner one night?” Waverly says as she leans against the door out of the office when she turns to leave “I mean, it must be a little lonely, right? Being new to town?”

 

“You don't have to….” Nicole says, shaking her head because she doesn't want it to feel like some sort of obligation. “I mean, it  _ is _ but you don't….”

 

“I want to,” Waverly says cutting her off with a smile. “Besides, I believe you promised me mature company, right?”

 

“I did,” Nicole says, smiling as Waverly catches her. “Well, you know where to find me if….”

 

“I do,” Waverly says, nodding to herself as she repeats her own words. “Dinner, dinner works….”

 

She's almost at the door when she turns to face Nicole one last time, a slightly satisfied grin on her face. 

 

“Oh, and Nicole?” Waverly says with a smirk before she's gone. “Hot chocolate’s my favourite too.”

  
  


-

  
  


Sometimes in the quiet the darkness is kind and other times it  _ taunts _ . 

 

Sometimes it sings her lullabies and plays her vision after vision of Waverly's eyes finding hers before anyone else in a room. It whispers pretty dreams of Waverly's hand in hers as they sit up in bed on a lazy Sunday morning, and prettier dreams of Waverly's hand between her thighs in the same bed. 

 

Sometimes the voice is silk, tells her  _ of course _ Waverly feels the same because Nicole looks but Waverly looks  _ back _ too. It tells her it's only a matter of time, she just needs to wait. 

 

Time and small steps and then she'll be Nicole's and Nicole will be hers and they'll fall apart with the sound of the others name on their lips as they come to pieces together. 

 

But the darker voice isn't so kind. It's sweeter but it's crueller. It breathes deeper hope and takes it away in the same second. 

 

Yes, Waverly looks but she doesn't  _ want _ you. 

 

Yes, Waverly looks but you're not  _ enough _ . 

 

Not enough to break apart from this perfectly comfortable life that's lining itself up before her, even if her fiancé does cheat and she doesn't love him, not really, you're still not enough. 

 

The darker voice shows her flashes of Waverly beneath him, and then worse of her above, riding him with a hand on his chest to balance herself as the other sweeps in a beautiful arc to push her hair away from her face as her hips move and  _ chase _ and  **push** . 

 

Those nights are the worst, those nights are the ones where Nicole slides a hand between her own thighs, angry at herself for feeling like this, angry at herself for giving in and angry with the world for giving Waverly such a poor substitute because god, she deserves the sun. 

 

Those nights she dreams it is her instead, that Waverly is atop her thighs, one hand splayed on Nicole's stomach as the other palms her breast roughly and she comes down hard around the toy strapped to Nicole's waist. She dreams of Waverly's voice singing her name through a chorus of moans, of Nicole, Nicole,  _ Nicole _ . 

 

But then she wakes, her thighs slick and her cheeks flushed and she cries. In frustration, for the loss of something that has never been hers. 

 

Because it's hard here and she's lonely. 

 

For Waverly. 

 

And for a future that seems  _ just _ out of reach.

  
  


-

  
  


It's stupid really, because Wynonna is reactive. Nicole knows this. 

 

She says dumb things almost constantly, not pausing for a second to think them or their consequences through and it's not the first time she's said something awful but it is the straw that broke the camel's back. 

 

It wasn't that she was harsh, because she's that almost constantly. She teases Nicole over her hot drink of choice and her little leftover lunches and the way she stacks her pens, and Nicole can take that because she knows that's just Wynonna projecting her own insecurities. It's textbook. 

 

The thing that gets her today of all days is that she undermines Nicole's ability to do her job. That she questions Nicole's professionalism and her morality and whether she's an accomplice to a  _ murder _ ? 

 

**That's** what does it. 

 

And if she's honest, this mini-breakdown, it's been building for months and months. Because Wynonna's not a saint and neither is her boss, Dolls, a downright asshole every time he slams the door in Nicole's face or stops talking when she walks into a room. 

 

And she's not a teenage girl, she's a cop. She doesn't need everyone to be nice to her but there's niceness and basic human decency, and honesty both he and Wynonna lack both some days along with a trough-full of tact too.

 

Nicole knows she graduated top of her class, head and shoulders above the next cadet even if Wynonna doesn't know or care, and knows from a technical perspective she could deal with whatever they have with her hands tied behind her back but she knows that's not the problem. 

 

That's why Dolls avoids her more often than not because Nicole thinks he has a read on her competence and knows she's perfectly capable. It's because it's probably not even a complex problem. It's just  _ delicate _ . 

 

It's delicate and ties into whatever the damn reason is that Wynonna has that antique piece of metal strapped to her waist twenty-four hours of the day. It ties into the whisperings she hears around town, and the strange things that are fobbed off or brushed over but Nicole suspects have a much more sinister undertone to them. 

 

She knows she can do the damn job and Dolls knows too but he's an asshole regardless because he doesn't give her a chance. 

 

It's cumulative, and today the insinuation, no the straight out insult that she can't do her job to a level high enough to understand what is probably not even a complex problem just knocks Nicole on her ass. 

 

She walks away from Wynonna with a lungful of anger and heads straight to her car because it started as anger but it's threatening her exhale as tears, and she'll be damned before she lets Wynonna see her cry. 

 

She throws the car into gear, turning out of the park with blurred vision and stops a street away when she can't see safe enough to drive. 

 

It's a side street thankfully and it's deserted, so Nicole turns the ignition off and drops her head into her hands to stop the tears rolling down her face. 

 

She hates crying, it's always been a weakness for her. Always something other people could use against her and not something healthy. Something that's  _ ok _ . 

 

Eventually the tears slow and she knows she has a few blissful minutes of silence in her head before the self-flagellation begins, but she's brought short by a soft knock on the window of the squad car. 

 

Great. Just what she needs. Some random passerby catching her with cheeks full of tears. She looks over for her hat but it's on the backseat, not within easy arm's reach so she keeps her head low, opting to hide her face as winds down the window. 

 

“This is a strange place for a stake out?” comes Waverly Earp’s lullaby soft voice, the end of her statement turned in question. “What are you….?”

 

She begins but Nicole lifts her head, her body bending, an unconscious reaction to Waverly's proximity and it must  _ just _ be high enough for Waverly to notice the tears because she stops mid-sentence. 

 

“Nicole,” Waverly says a little urgently as she bends her head to inspect Nicole for sign of blood or injury. “What's wrong, are you ok? Are you hurt?”

 

She smiles, laughing a little at Waverly's concern because of course she would never consider Nicole would cry for anything less than grievous bodily harm. 

 

“I'm ok, Wave,” Nicole says as she sniffs and wipes quickly at her face. “I'm fine.”

 

“You're obviously not though,” Waverly says, unconvinced by Nicole's flippant dismissal. “I've never seen you so much as sad before, let alone cry.”

 

She bounces on the balls of her feet, worry colouring her features as she juggles the heavy bags on either arm. She bends a little closer, enough for Nicole to get a wave of her perfume and Nicole sighs a little in relief at the proximity and scent. 

 

It's reassuring and  _ warm _ and it smells like home even though it's not, yet, and Nicole's next breath comes a little easier giving her a second to think. 

 

Sometimes she truly wonders whether there's a design to the universe because it makes absolutely no sense for Waverly Earp to have been the one to find her here and yet here they are. 

 

“Can I….” Waverly says carefully, softly, when it's clear she's not buying Nicole's reassurance. “Can I sit with you for a moment?”

 

“You want to sit with me?” Nicole asks surprised, her heart skipping in her chest, because she thought Waverly might hang around for a minute or two but she wasn't expecting her to offer Nicole her company. 

 

“If you'd like me to?” Waverly asks a little shyly. “I mean, gosh I'm sorry I shouldn't have assumed. Sometimes people like to be alone when they're upset, don't they? I just thought you might….I mean I like having company if I'm upset. I liked knowing you were there in the bar after Shorty….”

 

She looks down at her feet before she looks up to Nicole again, her eyes beautifully soft and it stops Nicole's heart because it's  _ special _ , that look. It's breathtaking. 

 

“I'm rambling,” Waverly says as her face blooms into a smile. “You're making me ramble again. I'm trying to say I'd be more than happy to keep you company for a moment. If you want to talk about….. Or if you don't.”

 

“You don't have somewhere to be?” Nicole asks softly as she gestures to Waverly's bags, trying to hide the roughness in her voice from crying. 

 

“Nowhere that's more important than you,” Waverly says, and Nicole gets the impression that part comes unbidden if the blush that colours Waverly's cheeks is anything to go by. “I mean….”

 

Nicole saves her the explanation, unlocking the passenger's side door before she looks back to Waverly with a slightly watery smile. 

 

“I'd love your company,” Nicole says softly and Waverly beams. “But only if it's not a bother and I'm not keeping you. And not because you feel sorry for me.”

 

“Never,” Waverly says quickly, frowning at the idea. “I just….you helped me that day. More than I think you know? And it's not about being even, please don't think that, but I'd like it if I could help? If I could do something, because you did.”

 

Nicole smiles at Waverly as she walks around the car and she knows it's bound to come off more than a little love-struck but she doesn't care. Because Wynonna and Dolls might be assholes but Waverly is the  _ sun _ . 

 

She settles in the car next to Nicole and Nicole feels the atmosphere in the car shift almost immediately. It's comfort and tension all at once and Nicole turns towards it, shifting her body around to meet Waverly. 

 

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Waverly asks softly. “About why you're upset?”

 

“It's stupid really,” Nicole says shaking her head before Waverly reaches across the divide between the seats, taking Nicole's hands gently in hers. 

 

“It's not stupid,” Waverly says firmly. “If it's upset you, it's not stupid.”

 

“Am I bad at my job?” Nicole asks, and she means to frame it better, to structure it in a way that makes more sense but honestly the question’s been eating at her ever since Wynonna's insult settled in her chest. 

 

“Of course not,” Waverly says quickly, squeezing her hands softly. “What on earth has made you think that?”

 

“It doesn't matter,” Nicole says shaking her head because she won't bag Wynonna to Waverly, not even if she deserves it a little. “It's a whole mess of things really. I'm just….this is what I've wanted to do my whole life Wave, and I thought I was good at it but what if I'm not? What am I going to do?”

 

She doesn't mean for it to come out as such an internal crisis and she  _ really _ doesn't mean to start crying again but there's something about Waverly that knocks every wall she's spent years building to keep others out, down, and she opens herself entirely, her worries spilling between her fingers. 

 

“Was it my sister?” Waverly says flatly. “Or Dolls? Or both of them?”

 

Nicole laughs then, a little smile cracking her lips as she looks at Waverly because of course she's shrewd enough to understand exactly what's going on because god, she's the smartest person Nicole's ever met. 

 

Head-smart and heart-smart and Nicole's never not amazed at how much she’s underestimated by every backwater idiot in this town. 

 

“It doesn't matter, Wave,” Nicole says gently again as she takes one of her hands away to wipe at her tears because it doesn't, the result is the same regardless. “God, I can't believe I'm crying again. I'm sorry.”

 

“Hey,” Waverly says as she reaches forward to wipe gently at one of the tears Nicole has missed, and neither of them miss the way a spark jumps clean from Waverly's hand to Nicole's cheek. 

 

They both pause for a second before Waverly's eyes drop to Nicole's lips and then up to her eyes and she continues. 

 

“Never apologise for crying, ok?” Waverly says softly, her thumb sweeping over Nicole's cheek before she takes both of Nicole's hands and holds them in Nicole's lap. “Never. And don't ever feel like you can't in front of me. I promise I won't tell anyone you're a little softer than you show the world.”

 

Nicole smiles, her eyes dropping to their joint hands, marvelling a little at how well they fit together. 

 

“Hey,” Waverly says softly, bringing Nicole's attention to her face again. “I want you to listen to me for a second ok, Officer Haught? No interruptions and no buts, ok?”

 

Nicole laughs again as she nods and Waverly grins before she continues. 

 

“You're  _ incredible _ at your job,” Waverly says earnestly. “I don't have to be a cop to know that. You're kind and you're strong and you're fair. You listen to people, even when they're batshit crazy. You're a wonderful cop. Purgatory is lucky to have you.”

 

There's a conviction in her voice that Nicole's never really had directed at her, like Waverly truly believes in her and it makes her pause because Waverly doesn't even really know Nicole very well and yet Nicole knows she believes the words she's just said with her  _ whole _ heart. 

 

“I'm sorry that my sister and Dolls are grade-a dicks but they are because they feel threatened by you, I think? I know Wynonna is. Because Nedley is great but he's Nedley, you know? He listens and he doesn't question the status quo but you're smart Nicole. You do question. And I know it's frustrating as hell they won't let you in on their stupid super secret club but if they don't, it's their loss. Because you're an amazing cop and you're  _ good _ at your job and that's why they close ranks.”

 

“You think so?” Nicole asks and she feels stupid for being so needy, for seeking approval when she learned a long time ago not to look for it in other people, to find it in herself instead. “You really think I'm not just a useless flat-foot?”

 

“I know so,” Waverly says, clearly, her voice strong and her gaze linked to Nicole's. “I know so, Nicole.”

 

It's heart-strengthening, Waverly's affirmation, and Nicole takes a deep breath before she squeezes Waverly's hands gently and smiles. 

 

“Thank you, Waverly,” Nicole says as she bows her head, her eyes misty again and she hopes Waverly can feel how much she means that, how deeply her words have settled. “For everything.”

 

“Anytime,” Waverly says before her eyes go a little shy. “For you, anytime Nicole.”

 

And Nicole pauses at that because there it is again. There's a layer behind her words beyond what's on the surface, that she means more than just that but Nicole's not quite sure exactly what  _ that _ is, because the spark between them is clear but she doesn't know what  _ that _ looks like on Waverly's end yet. 

 

She's about to give Waverly the option to go, conscious suddenly of the bags at the brunette’s feet and how much time she's stolen when a thought comes to her and she smiles. 

 

“Something you said before,” Nicole says shyly and she knows it's toeing that line maybe a little too close but her heart's open now and it's telling her to go on.

 

“You liked having me there?” Nicole asks gently before she makes to clarify. “At the bar, I mean. I was worried I was in the way, that's why I hung back with Dolls. I knew you had Champ but I didn't want to leave….”

 

“I did,” Waverly says and it's her turn to be shy now. She's quiet for a moment and Nicole can tell it's because she's picking her words, planning them carefully in her head and Nicole's not sure why but she understands the minute Waverly finishes. 

 

Because her words are  _ important _ . They  **change** things. 

 

She looks to Nicole and all pretense and cloak are gone, it's just Waverly, honest and pure. 

 

“I don't know how to describe but it was like having you there, you were a warmth in the room. Like you  _ soothed _ everything somehow more than anyone else has ever done, even Wynonna. And in spite of everything, all the horrible stuff that happened that day, I've never felt calmer in my life.”

  
  


-

  
  


She’s the wrong kind.

 

She has to watch Waverly’s face fall when she realises Nicole is back but Wynonna’s not, and the guilt almost stops her heart because  _ she’s the wrong kind _ . 

 

And she feels sick and her head hurts and she can feel the sharp band of pain where someone kicked her constrict around her ribs but none of it matters. None of it. Because Waverly is here and she’s broken.

 

Nicole has been beaten within an inch of her life and left for dead on the side of the road like an animal, can scarcely move an inch without agony rippling through her entire body and still, this is worse, watching Waverly look at her like that. 

 

It hurts more. 

  
  


-

  
  


“Waverly,” Nicole says gently through a haze of pain-meds and exhaustion. “You've got to stop pacing.”

 

Honestly, Nicole's not sure she's not hallucinating this whole scene in front of her because Wynonna is missing and Doc and Dolls are out hunting her kidnapper and Waverly is back here, with her. Not out with them, determined at their heels but here, with Nicole. 

 

She ignores the sharp voice in her ear telling her that it's because Waverly doesn't have anywhere else to go because she  _ does _ , she tells it firmly, but she's here with me anyway. 

 

Waverly looks up to Nicole at her words, pulled out of her daze with a face full of concern, and she opens her mouth to speak but Nicole beats her to it. 

 

“You're not annoying me but you're going to run yourself into the ground, or you're going to run into the floor,” Nicole says with a soft smile before she continues. “And that's not going to help anyone.”

 

“I don't know if I can sit still,” Waverly says, her eyes full of tears and Nicole wants to do more but she can't, not yet, so she'll settle for comforting Waverly instead. 

 

“So come and talk to me,” Nicole says, wincing as she sits up a little in bed. 

 

“I'm so sorry,” Waverly says, moving towards Nicole quickly. “You're hurt and here's me being a right pain-in-the-a. I can go, Nicole. I'm sorry.”

 

“No,” Nicole says quickly. “Stay. Please?”

 

Waverly softens immediately at Nicole's reassurance and Nicole does too. She pats the side of the bed by her knees, a little emboldened by the cocktail of painkillers blurring her senses and Waverly smiles shyly before she moves to Nicole's side. 

 

“You're sure?” Waverly asks cautiously. “I don't want to hurt you.”

 

“I'm tough,” Nicole says, her body cooperating completely by sending a shooting pain through her ribs when she shuffles to make more room. 

 

“Nicole….” Waverly says a little dubiously. “I'm not sure I should…. I don't want to….”

 

“Please,” Nicole says a little softer, her features dropping the facade for a moment to show Waverly that she needs her. “Distract me?”

 

“I'm not a very good distraction,” Waverly says with a scoff as she perches delicately on the edge of the bed. 

 

“Nonsense,” Nicole says firmly, reaching down to take Waverly's hand as Waverly shuffles closer. She wouldn't normally be this forward with her touch but the drugs are humming in her system and they're making her brave. “I couldn't think of a better distraction.”

 

And it's partly for her but it's mostly for Waverly because Nicole's never seen her so worried and it's understandable because it's Wynonna, her  _ life _ , and Nicole knows it might not really help but she wants to try and soothe her regardless. 

 

“Really?” Waverly asks, looking up to Nicole as her thumb plays over the warm skin at the inside of Nicole's wrist. 

 

“Really,” Nicole says confirming. “Beautiful, smart, quick as a fox Waverly Earp? What better distraction is there out there?”

 

“You think I'm beautiful?” Waverly says a little amazed, her voice quiet like she can't quite believe what Nicole's saying. “No one's ever called me beautiful before.”

 

“That can't be true,” Nicole says with a frown. “Never?”

 

“Never,” Waverly says quietly, shrugging, and Nicole has to fight the urge to get out of the bed and head straight to Champ Hardy’s house and beat his ass senseless, because how could he  _ not _ have told Waverly that. Not even once. 

 

“Sometimes I think people in this damn town are half-blind you know?” Nicole says a little cynically and she means with this but with other things too. The things that fill the whispers in the shadows that no one seems to talk about. 

 

“You're not though?” Waverly says quietly and Nicole's surprised at the forwardness of her question, even though it's so soft she barely hears it. 

 

“I'm definitely not,” Nicole answers, just as brazen. “You're head and shoulders the most beautiful girl I've ever seen, Waverly Earp. Thought so the moment I walked into your bar.”

 

“It's nice, you know,” Waverly says a little shyly. “That you notice. I like it.”

 

“Oh yeah,” Nicole says with a smile. “What else do you like, Miss Earp?”

 

“I don't know,” Waverly says, her cheeks reddening in a blush. 

 

“Yeah you do,” Nicole says a little cheekily. “Tell me, please?”

 

Waverly fixes her with a look that says,  _ this is just for you, and only because you're in a hospital bed _ but Nicole beams regardless when she moves to continue. 

 

“I like it that your eyes always find me first when you walk into a room, no matter what else is going on,” Waverly says with a smile as she looks down at their hands. “No one's ever done that before either.”

 

“That's easy, Wave,” Nicole says sweetly, her eyes going soft as she looks to Waverly. “It's automatic. You're like a damn spotlight. What else do you like?”

 

“Nicole,” Waverly says a little pleadingly, like she's reluctant to spill her secrets but knows she will openly if Nicole asks. 

 

“Please?” Nicole says and she watches as Waverly's face turns in a wry smile, like she knows Nicole has her number. 

 

“Fine,” Waverly says with a pretend scowl as she continues to play with Nicole's hand in her own. “But you're spilling your own secrets next, ok?”

 

“They're all yours,” Nicole says openly, and she knows it's the drugs that give her confidence and she might regret some of this come morning but it's so hard to think she will now when the prize is Waverly Earp’s hand soft at her wrist. 

 

“I like it when you touch me,” Waverly says, her voice barely a whisper as she looks down to where their bodies meet. “Just like this. Gentle and soft and like you don't want anything from me. Everybody always wants something from me, but not you.”

 

“I'd never expect anything from you, Wave. And I know I might be a little more forward than I should sometimes,” Nicole says admitting the secret to Waverly because in for a penny, in for a pound right? “I've never been like that with anyone else, it's just….I can't seem to help myself? I just kind of do it automatically? But if it's too much you just tell me ok, because the last thing I want is….”

 

“I like it,” Waverly says looking up to her suddenly, cutting her off with a smile. “Don't stop, ok?” 

 

It's all more than a little confusing and Nicole doesn't really know what it means only that Waverly should know now, beyond reason of a doubt, that Nicole is head over heels for her. 

 

Waverly's quiet for a second, contemplating something before she looks to Nicole with shy eyes and they're beautiful but Nicole's own are starting to feel heavy now, and as much as she wants to fight it sleep starts to take her. 

 

Because the bed is warm and Waverly's hand against her pulse is soft and the sedatives are winning their battle. She tries to sink the nails of her other hand into her palm because it feels like whatever Waverly's about to say is important and she wants to hear it fully.  

 

But it's too much, the sleepy weight on her chest takes over and when Waverly does speak it sounds far away, as though already part of her dream. 

 

“I broke up with Champ,” Nicole hears softly, like a prayer somewhere long in the distance. “I thought you should know, just in case….”

 

She doesn't reply because her voice doesn't work anymore but she smiles, and she knows Waverly sees it because her hand squeezes at Nicole's wrist gently. 

 

And then she drops, falling asleep with aching ribs and a broken body but that doesn't matter because there are endless possibilities on her tongue now, and Waverly Earp as guard by her side. 

  
  


-

  
  


When she wakes, Waverly is gone.

 

They release her from the hospital at dusk the next day and she doesn't even register making the decision but one minute she's outside her house in her truck and the next she's at the driveway to the homestead. 

 

She doesn't go in though, doesn't pull up to the front, just sits and goes over and over and over in her head the speech she’s been writing ever since she woke up sometime after Waverly left her hospital room. 

 

It's like a prayer in her mind. 

 

Waverly, I’m sorry. Waverly, I care about you. Waverly, I’ll strip this world to it’s knees if you ask me to. 

 

Waverly, I  _ love _ you.

 

But she doesn’t say any of it because she can’t make her body move out of the goddamn truck. 

 

Because the voice, the harsh sickly sweet soft one, tells her that she’s wrong. She’s the wrong kind for that sick excuse of a man but she’s the wrong kind for Waverly too. 

 

It tells her that she's not good enough, that she's the reason Wynonna was taken. She's the reason Waverly was in so much pain. 

 

The rational part of her mind tries to tell her otherwise, it really, really does but she's tired and everything hurts and she doesn't have the strength to hold the armour up to her heart, not tonight. 

 

She doesn't go anywhere though, doesn't drive home. Because she can't get out of the truck but she won't leave Waverly without a sentry. Not tonight. 

 

What was the last thing you remember, they'd asked her desperately. What was the last thing you saw. 

 

And there'd been nothing, nothing but black and pain until something set down beside her heart and she'd  _ remembered.  _

 

Waverly Earp, staring at her from her front porch. 

 

Black and black and black and then  _ light.  _

 

She doesn't mean for it to sound like some ridiculous line from one of the story books she'd refused to read as a child (because why couldn't the princess rescue the princess occasionally too, why did they always need a prince), but it had come off like that regardless, Waverly will tell her much later. 

 

In truth though, it haunts her, in the most exquisite way, and she dreams of the smell of dawn and the pattern of the shawl wrapped around Waverly's shoulders and the way the morning sun kept striking her hair, but mostly Nicole remembers her smile. Her smile, her smile, her smile, every time Nicole closes her eyes. 

 

It follows her, it refuses to leave her, and it makes her feel warm because it had felt like a beginning. 

 

(She’ll learn months,  _ months _ down the line when they're one body and not two, wrapped beneath the comfort of Waverly's bed, that Waverly was sitting on her sister’s bed waiting for the dawn with a shotgun at her knee that night because she was too scared to rest. Until she'd looked out the window and seen the silhouette of Nicole's truck by the road and then and only then she'd been able to lay her head and sleep)

  
  


-

  
  


It's not like her, the impatience, and Nicole is furious with herself as soon as Waverly steps out of her car. 

 

Because she'd meant it,  _ whatever you want Waverly _ , but not like that. 

 

Not dismissive and defeated and fed up, but patient. As in, I'll give you anything and everything I can. I'll kill for you, Waverly. I'll die for you. 

 

And she knows it sounds melodramatic in her head but it's true. 

 

Because Nicole would strip the town with her bare hands and she'd walk through a hundred miles of snow in the depths of winter and she'd set a fire to the moon if Waverly asked her to.  

 

It had just come out all wrong, because Nicole's tired. No, exhausted. And it had hurt. 

 

And she knows why, because  _ maybe we should just be friends  _ felt worse than being left on the side of the road with broken ribs and so much blood it made her knees bend. Because she'd been so sure there had been something there, had felt like it was on the tip of Waverly's tongue, an admission or a clue. An  _ I think I like you, but I'm scared  _ or  _ I think I want you, but I have no idea what that means.  _

 

And that would have been fine, more than even, that would have been incredible. 

 

But it had been different. 

 

Instead of a start, Waverly had dismissed it because everything was moving too fast and too many things were changing and this, this was one thing too many. Because she'd been scared. 

 

Nicole knows the perils of falling for a straight girl, has most definitely been there before and swore never to repeat her actions and she knows that's what this looks like at face value, but it feels different. 

 

Waverly feels different. 

 

And that's why Nicole's hurt, that's why the exhaustion feels bone-deep now. That's why she'd sighed and said those words to Waverly, because they'd been so close she could feel their fingertips brushing past one another's souls and Waverly had pulled back. 

 

She won't give up though because she knows there  _ is _ something there whether Waverly will admit it to herself now or not, and now in the fresh clean air Nicole feels calmer. 

 

She'll wait. For as long as she can until her heart breaks. 

 

Or is mended. 

  
  


-

  
  


“Waverly,” Nicole gasps, lungs starved of air and hands full of the body she's been dreaming of for  _ months _ now. 

 

She's trying to take this all in but her mind’s a little hazy because she can't quite believe this is happening. 

 

Because this morning it was  _ just friends  _ and a crack down the middle of her heart, and now they're kissing. 

 

Waverly is warm and eager and  **here** and Nicole doesn't know what changed but all that matters is it has.

 

Waverly the whirlwind, Waverly the sun had come through in a flash of jacket and nervous energy and she'd kissed Nicole, really, truly kissed her and taken Nicole's breath away. 

 

Which she still can't get her head around because Waverly had said  _ just friends  _ and Nicole hadn't been able to keep the disappointment out of her voice when she'd replied, because she hadn't been certain but she'd thought there was something there. 

 

Because she didn't know if that was something she could do, just be friends. Because she's not with Champ now but there will be others if there isn't her, and she wants Waverly to be happy above all else but watching someone else give that to her instead would have destroyed Nicole eventually. 

 

But she doesn't have to worry about that, not anymore, because Waverly kissed her. Waverly is still kissing her, her thigh wrapped around Nicole's hip, and Nicole wants to pinch herself because she can't quite believe this is happening. 

 

But it is because her breathing is hard and there are light hands on the belt of her trousers, shaking a little as they pull her shirt out looking for bare skin. 

 

Waverly is real beneath her, between her legs, her thigh pushing up against Nicole's core and her breathing is hard too and Nicole feels dizzy and all she wants to do is kiss and kiss and kiss until Waverly loses her breath all together, but she knows they need to stop.

 

Because if this is going to happen, if this is really going to happen there's no way she's going to let it happen on an old couch in Nedley’s office. 

 

She's going to need a prompt though, something to help her, to make her drag her lips from Waverly's because now she  _ can _ kiss she knows she doesn't have the self-control to stop herself. 

 

Waverly slides her lips against Nicole's, changing her angle and Nicole uses it, breaks away with a gasp to try again, biting her lip hard using the spike of pain to focus her head. 

 

Waverly's eyes are glassy and her face is flushed as she looks up at Nicole with the most beautiful expression Nicole has ever seen, part-hunger, part-hope and Nicole falls even harder. 

 

Waverly's pupils are blown jet black and she hates to think what her own are like, dark and probably a little desperate. 

 

“Wave,” Nicole pants again, resting her forehead against Waverly's. “We really need to stop.”

 

That pulls Waverly up short and her hands that had been trying to move beneath Nicole's shirt freeze in place. 

 

“What?” Waverly asks, a little scared. 

 

“No,” Nicole says quickly, leaning down to kiss her again, running her tongue along the line of Waverly's lip before she pulls away again. “I mean for now, we need to stop for now.”

 

“Don't you want this?” Waverly asks, her fingers curling in Nicole's shirt as she pulls her closer. “Don't you want me?”

 

She laughs because how can Waverly even ask that, how is there a single fraction of doubt in that. 

 

“I do, Wave,” Nicole says exhaling with a broken laugh. “You have no idea how much I do, which is why I think we should stop now.”

 

“That doesn't make any sense?” Waverly says, her nose wrinkling in confusion. “If you want me then why do you….”

 

“Because I don't want to do this here,” Nicole says, her eyes softening as her whole body aches. “Because I want to do this properly, Waverly. In a bed, when we have time, where we don't have to worry about being interrupted by my boss.”

 

“Oh,” Waverly says softly, a different kind of blush setting over her cheek as she moves to take her hands from Nicole's body. “You're right.”

 

The spell Waverly was under seems a little dampened now as she comes to her senses, taking stock of Nicole's words, and Nicole could kick herself because this isn't what she wants, not to give Waverly doubt. She just wants to do it right. 

 

Nicole needs to show her then, needs to let her body speak to Waverly's, needs to make her understand how much she  _ does _ want this, how thoroughly it's consumed her soul every second since she walked into that bar a month or so ago. 

 

“Hey,” Nicole breathes, lifting Waverly's chin up. She settles her hips against Waverly's thigh, pushing her own against Waverly, looking for the spark to catch. 

 

She eases down  _ just  _ enough and Waverly's eyes go wide and her breath stops hard in her throat, and Nicole smirks as she bites her lip and rolls her body down. 

 

She leans in low ghosting her lips over Waverly's and across her jaw, down her neck and over her pulse before they settle at the shell of her ear and Waverly shivers hard. 

 

“I need you to listen to me very carefully,  _ Waverly Earp _ ,” Nicole purrs. “Never, ever, for a  _ second _ doubt that at any given time I'm not thinking about how much I want you.”

 

Waverly's hands move to Nicole's hips again, squeezing, and her breath comes out in a slow shaky exhale as Nicole holds back a sigh in relief. 

 

“Because I am, ok?” Nicole says, dragging her teeth against the column of Waverly's neck. “Every time I look at you, every time you catch me staring, I'm thinking about it. I'm thinking about you.”

 

The gasp it earns is deeply satisfying and Nicole can't help but smile against Waverly's skin. 

 

She's run through this situation a million times in her head, has spent hours and hours and hours dreaming of what Waverly will taste like, what her warmth will feel like against Nicole's skin, how sharply her body will bend against Nicole's when she touches her in  _ just _ the right place. 

 

She's prophesied about how sensitive she'll be, how responsive and reactive and all of it, every single bit absolutely pales in comparison to the truth.

 

Because Waverly  _ is _ sensitive and she arches and is  _ so beautifully responsive _ it makes Nicole want to play just to test what will happen when she kisses further down her neck, up and over the swell of breast, or when her hands move further down Waverly's stomach. 

 

Nicole knows they need to stop, that  _ she _ needs to stop but she wants to push a little further, wants to give Waverly a proper teaser of what awaits them if they do choose to go further. 

 

“And now I know….” Nicole whispers against Waverly's pulse, her fingers dancing along the strip of warm skin at Waverly's stomach. “Now I know what it feels like to kiss you, Waverly Earp, I'm not going to be able to think about anything else. All I'm going to be thinking about is how delicious it is, and how delicious everything else will be too…. _ if _ you want that.”

 

All she's done is teased her lips against the sensitive skin of Waverly's neck up until now but she leans in properly then, draws the pebbled flesh between her teeth and sucks teasingly, holding in her smile when Waverly melts and moans beneath her. 

 

Waverly's hands move from her hips, hesitantly but still they move, up Nicole's arms to slide beneath the tight woven plait and scratch lightly at her scalp and it's Nicole's turn to shiver as she rolls her hips down again and Waverly groans. 

 

“What was that you said about stopping?” Waverly asks as she holds Nicole to her neck not giving any doubt to her opinion on the matter, but it's enough that Nicole comes to herself enough to pull back with a growl because as badly as she wants this, she does want it to be special. 

 

“I'm sorry,” Nicole says as she tries to catch her breath against Waverly's chest, her head bowed low when she breaks. “I'm sorry, Wave. See? Do you see what you do to me?”

 

“Yeah, well,” Waverly says shakily against Nicole's crown, her lips against Nicole's hairline. “You definitely have a similar effect,  _ Officer _ .”

 

“I do?” Nicole asks, not quite able to keep the uncertainty completely out of her voice because she  _ thinks _ she knows but she's not sure. 

 

“You do,” Waverly says as she coaxes Nicole up to look at her and for the first time, she  _ sees _ . 

 

She sees messy brown hair and blush covered cheeks and eyes that are almost black too, and they're breathtaking on their own but it's her mouth that does Nicole in. Her lips are kiss swollen and her teeth tug at the bottom one before her tongue runs teasingly and Nicole very nearly loses control right then and there because Waverly  _ wants _ her. 

 

Her. Nicole. And no one else. 

 

But they need to stop so she swallows the desire and tries to breathe calm instead. 

 

“Hi,” Nicole says suddenly shy beneath Waverly's gaze, her body melting a little in the gentleness of the moment. 

 

“Hi,” Waverly says just as shy and soft. “I'm glad I came back.”

 

“I'm glad you came back too,” Nicole says as she smiles and Waverly's face lights up in response. 

 

“Maybe I could make you that dinner one night soon and we could….” Waverly trails off, her fingers playing with the loop on Nicole's belt. 

 

“I'd like that,” Nicole says biting her lip as she nods. “I'd really like that.”

 

She glances to the clock before she groans, dropping her head against Waverly's chest. 

 

“Nedley?” Waverly asks as Nicole nods and moves to scoot backwards so she can shift off Waverly but the smaller woman's hands hold tight on her belt. “Wait….”

 

Nicole looks up to Waverly, her brow creased in confusion before Waverly pulls her down against her lips by the front of her shirt. 

 

“I want one more kiss,” Waverly says with a smirk, her cheeks flushed. 

 

“Oh,  _ Wave _ ,” Nicole says with a dangerous grin. “How do you think I'll ever stop at one?”

  
  


-

  
  


Waverly’s touch is like wildfire.

 

She kisses Nicole in the small moments they steal together and Nicole sets aflame. 

 

They come together whenever and wherever they can. In the office while Nedley’s at dinner, in Nicole's squad car when she drops Waverly home after her shifts. In doorways and around corners, wherever they can find a few minutes to themselves. 

 

And they're not exactly careful about it because Wynonna almost catches them about seven times, Nedley and Dolls twice a piece, and she knows they should be smarter about this but honestly, she doesn't care. 

 

Because Waverly is handsier than Nicole thought she'd be, her touch bolder and her kisses deeper, with little of the hesitance Nicole had been expecting, and she doesn't want to waste a single second of it. 

 

They don't get far though, even in the wake of Waverly's obvious desire to keep moving forward. They have to wait and hold and burn instead because Willa comes back from the dead, figuratively if not literally, and Waverly gets hurt and instead of running her lips over the suggestion of rib and smooth  _ smooth _ skin, she has to run fingertips covered in salve instead. 

 

They don't get far but still  _ she's _ there. Because Willa watches Waverly with a gaze that makes Nicole uncomfortable, that unsettles her heart. She watches Waverly like a reformed addict watches the object of its desire, deciding whether it's worth the risk to give in to temptation. Like a lion stalks its prey, all the while pretending it's not the true predator it really is. 

 

That she isn't picturing her teeth in Waverly's neck.  

 

And she knows Willa and Waverly never bonded as children, Waverly has told her as much, but the way she watches Waverly is almost malevolent. It's dangerous. And she knows she should be happy for them because they can be a family again now, but something she cannot quantify tells her it's wrong.  

 

But she bites her tongue for now, watches instead least her instincts be wrong. Because she won't risk upsetting this beautiful dance she and Waverly have just started stepping around each other. 

 

Not yet, anyway. Not without cause. 

 

She doesn't know yet just how right she will be. And Willa how wrong.

  
  


-

  
  


“You don't have to do this stuff for me you know,” Nicole says softly as she pulls out one of her freshly pressed shirts out of her wardrobe. “I mean, I love that you do but you don't do it because you feel like you have to, right? Because it's amazing but I don't want to you think I expect it Wave.”

 

Waverly's stretched out across her bed on her stomach, watching Nicole with soft eyes as Nicole pulls her uniform into order for the morning. 

 

It's a nightly habit Nicole's done like clockwork for years now, only she's used to having to iron and hang the shirts herself but the last few nights when Waverly's beaten her to her apartment before her shift ends Nicole's gone to sort her things only to find them pre-sorted. Perfectly. Just the way she likes. 

 

“I mean, it's unbelievably sweet Wave but we get to kick those old stereotypes out the door, you know,” Nicole says smiling as she looks at Waverly, so easily at home here amongst Nicole's things. Her home. 

 

“I know,” Waverly says looking a little coy all of a sudden as her eyes fall to her phone between her hands. “I know I don't but I just….I kind of like it? Having someone to look after?”

 

Nicole smiles and she watches as Waverly screws her face up, annoyed with the way she's articulated herself even though Nicole has shown no sign of being even remotely annoyed at her statement. 

 

“I know you don't  _ need _ looking after,” Waverly says quickly as she sits up, sliding towards the end of the bed and Nicole. “I just mean….”

 

She pauses and Nicole knows this touches a far deeper issue for Waverly than it might appear at face value, and she can see Waverly trying to organise her thoughts so Nicole breathes slowly,  _ calmingly _ and waits. 

 

“I’m always the baby,” Waverly says with a frown a minute later.  “People are always looking after me and I don't know, I like the idea that I can look after someone else? In my own way obviously, because I'm not defenceless, I can hold my own even though I'm not you. And I know you can do this stuff, probably better than I can too but it's just….nice. Knowing that I can do this one thing for you?”

 

And Nicole nods because she  _ understands.  _ Because people have been coddling Waverly Earp her whole life and she's never needed it, not like they think she has, and this is Waverly finding power again in relation to that, in a small way sure but it's no less important. 

 

“You're  _ incredibly _ capable Waverly Earp,” Nicole says sitting down on the bed beside her, running her thumb over Waverly's jaw. “More so than most people in this damn town give you credit for. You know that I know that right?”

 

Waverly nods against her palm and Nicole kisses her quickly before she continues. 

 

“I've never had anyone do this stuff for me, you know?” Nicole says quietly. “It's always been just me. I've never had anyone to do things, to come home too. I've never had anyone want to be at home for me and I've never dreamed of having someone actually want to do this stuff for me.”

 

She tries to infuse her words with the significance of what she's saying, how lonely she has been for so long and how lonely she was anticipating to be for the rest of her life and how much Waverly has changed that so completely. 

 

“It means a lot that you want to,” Nicole says gently as she takes Waverly's hands. “More than I could ever say because never in a million years did I think this would happen. I thought it'd be me and Calamity Jane versions one through five for life. But I need you to know that I'd never expect it. Not even if you did it every day for fifty years.”

 

Waverly's quiet for a second but when she looks up to Nicole she  _ glows.  _

 

“I know you don't, and that why I love doing it for you,” Waverly says softly. “Champ expected this stuff, you know? And I did it anyway because I didn't want to fail at that too but it pissed me off. I resented him for it. But I am very fond you, Nicole Haught and I like reminding you that you're not alone in this anymore.”

 

“It's nicer than I ever thought it could be coming home to a warm house and not a cold one,” Nicole says quietly and Waverly covers her hand with her own. 

 

“It's nicer than I thought it ever would be to come home and warm it for you,” Waverly says with a soft smile and Nicole feels herself fall in love a little deeper. 

 

“I might not beat you home much but there are other things I can do for you, you know,” Nicole says gently as she leans in, brushing her nose against Waverly's. 

 

“Oh yeah?” Waverly asks as she moves a little closer to Nicole. “Like what?”

 

They're still shy around one another, and they've managed a few heated makeout sessions but it hasn't gone further than that. Not yet. And the hesitance isn't on their part, not at all, but the universe seems determined to insert itself at the most inopportune moments. 

 

This is that more magic for it though,  _ them _ , the thrill of a brand new relationship. Everything is electric, everything is new and while Nicole can't wait until things smooth and settle there's an undeniable charm in everything being fresh. 

 

“I can cook,” Nicole says as she turns her body to face Waverly. “I can sew, believe it or not.”

 

“Really?” Waverly asks surprised. 

 

“Yeah,” Nicole says with a slightly sad smile. “I mean, I've had to do things for myself for a long time. Couldn't afford to have someone else fix things every time I tore my uniform so I taught myself.”

 

“I can’t sew to save myself,” Waverly says with a little laugh. “Wynonna was good, actually, when Gus taught us a long time ago. Much better than Willa and me.”

 

“No way,” Nicole says with a smile. 

 

“Yeah,” Waverly says with a grin that mirrors Nicole's own. “I know right. Enough about my sister though, what else. You're selling your talents to me here.”

 

“Well,” Nicole says with a lower smile, the warmth pouring off Waverly's proximity flooding her lungs and driving her down a different tack. “I'm  _ very _ good with my hands and….”

 

“No,” Waverly says quickly with a smirk as she traces her index finger along the line of Nicole's clavicle, biting her lip before looking up to Nicole with heavy eyes. “Go back. Tell me about your hands….”

 

She's unexpectedly flirtatious, Waverly Earp, much more so than Nicole had been anticipating and she loves it. Because Waverly brings the flirtation out in her in a big way but Waverly meets it seamlessly. 

 

“What do you want to know about them?” Nicole says as she smirks, her chores forgotten for a moment. 

 

And she knows it won't go much further tonight, not beyond slightly out of breath touches, because she has a nauseatingly early morning and it doesn't feel like  _ time,  _ but that won't stop her kissing Waverly until they both run out of breath.

 

“Everything,” Waverly says as her eyes light and she slides her hand around the back of Nicole's neck. 

 

“I want to know everything.”

  
  


-

  
  


A month later Nicole finds a tiny red heart stitched into the hem on one side of the bottom of one of her work shirts, and upon further inspection finds them on all five. 

 

The workmanship is a little messy, Waverly really wasn't wrong when she said she couldn't sew to save herself, but the small lines of red make Nicole want to cry at the thoughtfulness regardless. 

 

Because someone doesn't do something like that for a passing lover or a fling. 

 

They do that for a soul mate. 

 

Next to the small heart is a tiny W and Nicole runs her finger over the stitching again and again, her heart bigger with every loop of red. 

 

“So I'm with you,” Waverly says simply with a star bright smile when Nicole asks her about it later that night. “So I can look after  you even when I'm not there.”

  
  


-

  
  


Waverly is a vision. 

 

Nicole thinks this in her head, blushing when she realises she's said it out loud. 

 

They have a small moment, seconds really, when Waverly pulls her aside, her hands shaking a little at Nicole's wrist. 

 

“You look….” Waverly says bowing her head and Nicole knows because she feels exactly the same. 

 

“So do you,” Nicole says nodding in response. “Beautiful, Waverly. You look beautiful.”

 

“You look  _ more _ than beautiful,” Waverly says as her eyes drop over Nicole's body and roam hungrily and Nicole feels very, very warm. “Later, can we….?”

 

Her hand moves to trail the curve of Nicole's hip bone through her dress and the touch is so familiar, like Nicole's body is hers, that Nicole falls a drop further down the well in love with her. 

 

“Yes,” Nicole nods, and she loses her mind a little at the possibility behind Waverly's question as she pulls them back towards the party. “Yes, Waverly.  _ Anything _ .”

 

Waverly is a vision and her hands still burn from their time in the barn together earlier and their exchange now, but then everything goes wrong. 

 

Waverly tries to take Nicole away as her knuckles still ache from the blow to Champ’s jaw but Nicole can't, because this is her job. So she stays and she sends Waverly away with a kiss that brings her heart into her throat before she turns to the maddening crowd with the taste of Waverly on her tongue. 

  
  


-

  
  


They've always been told being shot with a vest hurts as much as the real thing only without the blood, and she hadn't believed it, not until she could taste Waverly's fear on her tongue and the stab of an almost certainly broken rib. 

 

She barely notices though because Waverly said I love her. Because Waverly had plead for her life and had begged Wynonna to turn over her birthright and she'd done it. 

 

Because Waverly said  _ I love her _ . 

 

She gently pushes Waverly away with a kiss and a lungful of hope, with her sister even though it almost kills her to do so but Wynonna had given up Peacemaker to save her life and Nicole will never ever forget that. 

 

She lays on the floor for a long time after the office doors swing shut half in shock and half because now the muscles in her torso have seized and she can't actually move. 

 

Nedley finds her eventually, his face blanching in fear before he realises she's ok and her soul warms because she's never had this before, a father figure and a role model, and he lifts her easily despite her weak protests and takes her straight to the emergency room before dropping her home with a strapped ribs and a growled promise to  _ call if you need anything ok, Haught. You're not a damn lone wolf anymore.  _

 

She knows Waverly will call the minute she can but the wait almost kills her because she's weak and god, she's in a lot of pain, and she can't even pace to pass the time. 

 

She gives in eventually, takes one of the pretty blue pain pills the doctor had given her and her mind plays her the memory of Waverly standing on her front porch before she slips into unconsciousness on her couch, the colour of the sky mirrored in Waverly's eyes as she'd smiled so beautifully and so shy back. 

 

Nicole wakes hours and hours later to a moonlit room, the only sound dual heart beats, with Waverly Earp fast asleep in the armchair across from her. 

 

She's not sure she's not hallucinating at first but she closes and opens her eyes again and Waverly is still there. 

 

Waverly, who said  _ I love her.  _

 

She looks fast asleep but she rouses as soon as Nicole's eyes focus, woken as if attached somehow to Nicole's own pulse, and the room stops spinning. 

 

“Hi,” Waverly says quietly as she tilts her head to watch Nicole. Her eyes are dry but they're pained, like her body had wanted to cry but had run out of tears. 

 

“Hi,” Nicole says sleepily, her body aching a little from the distance between them. “You're so far away.”

 

“I wanted to sit next to you but I didn't want to risk hurting you,” Waverly says with a soft smile before she ducks her head shyly and Nicole is struck with the distinct impression that there's something else on her mind. 

 

“You won't,” Nicole says, melting a little at Waverly's concern in spite of her own worry as she shifts a little to make room, trying not to wince and give herself away. “Please?”

 

“You're sure?” Waverly asks hesitantly and Nicole's not sure where its root is. Whether it's simply for her physical well being or if it's something else. If it's as a consequence of her forced admission at the police station or whatever she'd had to do with Wynonna after they'd left.  

 

“I'm sure, baby,” she says without thinking and she mentally curses herself for the familiarity in the event that there is something wrong, that they have gone too far too fast for Waverly to feel comfortable. 

 

She's said it before, only once or twice but she doesn't know if Waverly's actually heard her in the past so this may well be the first. Her eyes flick to Waverly's to apologise as she kicks herself, worrying her lip between her teeth. 

 

“I'm sorry….I didn't mean….” Nicole says quickly but she needn't have worried because Waverly looks up at the term of endearment and she  _ glows _ . 

 

“Baby?” Waverly asks and it's obvious then that she hasn't heard the word come from Nicole's lips before. 

 

“It slipped out Wave, I'm sorry,” Nicole says quickly, screwing her eyes against the pain and the fog in her mind. 

 

“No,” Waverly says, shaking her head gently before she speaks, her voice shy. “I like it.”

 

“You do?” Nicole asks cautiously, trying not to let the hope in her chest spark too hot just in case. 

 

“Yeah,” Waverly says, biting her lip as she nods, smiling to herself before she pushes slowly up out of the armchair. “I do. A lot.”

 

She walks across the room slowly, stopping just in front of Nicole's couch before she looks up to Nicole with a snowsoft question in her eyes. 

 

“Are you sure?” Waverly asks, gesturing to the space Nicole's made at one end as Nicole curls up, drawing her knees to her chest. 

 

“Positive,” Nicole says, patting the space next to her as Waverly takes her place at Nicole's side. They're close, Nicole's sock covered feet tucking under Waverly's thigh, and Nicole could have move further down to give Waverly more space but she hasn't, whether unconsciously or not, and Waverly doesn't seem to mind. 

 

“Baby,” Waverly says again, looking down at her lap, testing how the word feels around her tongue before she looks up to Nicole. “Are you ok? I mean, you're not obviously but are you….?”

 

“I'm ok, Wave,” Nicole says, reaching forward to rest her hand on Waverly's thigh, not missing the way Waverly moves infinitesimally closer. “A little sore but I'm ok. How are you? What happened….”

 

The flash of pain that crosses Waverly's face tells her enough. Willa is gone. Again. 

 

“It's ok, baby,” she says quickly and the word feels so distinctly natural falling from her mouth this time. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to….you don't have to talk about anything….”

 

“She's gone,” Waverly says simply, one and then two tears sliding down her cheek. “Again. She's gone, again.”

 

“ _ Wave _ ,” Nicole says gently, her heart falling, aching in empathy with Waverly's own. It sends a hot stab of pain through her ribs but she leans forward regardless, pulling Waverly to her. 

 

Her warmth settles beautifully against Nicole's own skin as she wraps her arms around Waverly's shoulders and Waverly slides between her bent knees, tucking her head beneath Nicole's chin as she takes one shaky breath and exhales against Nicole's chest. 

 

“I'm sorry, Waverly. I'm so,  _ so _ sorry,” Nicole whispers as she presses kisses to the top of Waverly's head, her fingers moving through Waverly's hair gently. 

 

“She wasn't really our Willa,” Waverly half-sobs against Nicole's chest and Nicole's arms squeeze tighter. “I know she wasn't, not anymore but….”

 

“She's still your sister, Wave,” Nicole says gently. “That doesn't change, regardless of how she was at the end.”

 

“I didn't see, Bobo made me hide but….” Waverly starts before she breaks off to blow out a low shaky breath. “Wynonna had to….again.”

 

She has a million questions, what happened and Bobo did  _ what _ and is your sister ok, but none of that matters now. All that matters is Waverly needs her. 

 

“She shot you,” Waverly sobs against her chest and Nicole winces because Waverly's arms have curled around her waist now too where she's nestled between Nicole's legs and she tightens her hold but Nicole dampens her reaction, not wanting Waverly to move away. “She shot you, Nicole. She tried to kill you.”

 

And that makes her blood run cold because she hasn't really had time to process that up until now but Waverly's right, Willa had no way of knowing she was wearing a vest but she'd shot anyway. 

 

She can't be mad now though, she can't be furious or scared or anything but strictly neutral because Waverly needs her to be solid. 

 

“She was desperate, Waverly,” Nicole reasons, her fingers gentle against Waverly's scalp. “She needed that gun. People do crazy things when they're desperate. They do things they would never normally do.”

 

(And she has no idea how disastrously true this will turn out to be. How intimately they will learn this in the months to come)

 

“I told Wynonna,” Waverly says, pulling away from Nicole's chest with a hiccup. “About you. About us.”

 

“You did,” Nicole says with a steady breath, holding it at the height of her inhalation. 

 

“Is that ok?” Waverly asks with a frown across her forehead. “I know I should have talked to you first, I know it shouldn't have happened like that but….”

 

And Nicole could laugh because it's just so unbelievably  _ Waverly Earp  _ to apologise for revealing their relationship through an admission of love to save her life. As if there was anything to apologise for. 

 

“Of course it is,” Nicole says with an almost unbelieving smile. “I mean, we didn't have much of a choice but of course it is Waverly. I'm happy Wynonna knows. Really happy, ok? But are you ok with it? I mean we never talked about it, did you want Wynonna to know?”

 

It might sound ridiculous, the idea that Waverly wouldn't have eventually wanted to tell Wynonna but Nicole's a realist. She knows how things work in a small town like Purgatory and while she's never hidden who she is, she doesn't want to assume Waverly had wanted the same thing. That she'd wanted them to be visible. 

 

“Of course I did,” Waverly says with a frown. “I mean, I know I hadn't yet but I want everyone to know, Nicole. What do you mean?”

 

“I don't mean….” Nicole starts before she drops off because this is coming out wrong. It's not Waverly, it's Purgatory. “I just mean, I know how it is in towns like this. Sometimes people don't want to be open and that would have been ok too, Wave. I would have done whatever you'd wanted.”

 

“Really?” Waverly asks, her eyes furrowed in disbelief. “You would have kept things a secret? Even though you're….you would have done that?”

 

“I'd do anything for you,” Nicole says with soft eyes that plead for Waverly to recognise just how deeply true that is. 

 

“You would?” Waverly asks as her hands find the bare skin at her waist beneath Nicole's yoga pants and loose tee. 

 

“Anything,” Nicole says again as she intertwines their fingers. 

 

“I didn't want to hide you,” Waverly says as she winces. “I just wanted to tell Wynonna first and I didn't know how but then Willa….God, Nicole I've never been so scared in my life.”

 

“Wave, it's ok,” Nicole says soothingly, tucking a strand of Waverly's hair behind her ear. “I'm ok. You're ok. That's all that matters.”

 

“But you hit that wall so hard,” Waverly half-sobs again as she looks to Nicole with tear filled eyes. “ _ So _ hard. And then you were on the floor and you weren't moving and I thought you were gone and I'd only just found you and I hadn't even been able to show you off yet and….”

 

Nicole kisses her. Quiet and calm and slow. 

 

Part to quiet the maelstrom that's clearly waging war in Waverly's head and part because she can't stand in that moment not to. 

 

She starts it easy but it turns in Waverly's hands almost as soon as Nicole's lips touch hers. She slants her mouth against Nicole's, her hands pulling Nicole closer as she deepens the kiss, warm and desperate and needing. 

 

Nicole loses herself for a minute, her mind going blank at the feeling of Waverly sliding her tongue into her mouth while her body responds automatically, pushing back and pulling Waverly close. 

 

The desperation bleeds into her a little too then because she could have died today, or Willa could have turned that barrel towards Waverly instead but she didn't, and it seems like an almost tragic waste not to use bodies, still hot and capable. 

 

Except that hers isn't, and she's reminded of that sharply when she moves forward to push Waverly against the arm of the couch. 

 

“Shit,” Nicole hisses sharply when her wrapped ribs strain and pinch. 

 

Waverly stops against her immediately, her hands freezing where they're settled in Nicole's hair and at her waist. 

 

“What's wrong?” Waverly says quickly, her eyes alert and worried. “You said you were ok?”

 

“I'm fine, baby,” Nicole says, rolling as much reassurance into her words as she can. “Just a little bruised, ok? And a couple of little fractures.”

 

Waverly blanches but Nicole is quick to move to her again. 

 

“But….” Waverly says as her hands move beneath Nicole's top, searching out the edge of the bandage gently. 

 

“I'm fine ok, I didn't want to put anything else on you,” Nicole says soothingly. “You've got enough to worry about, Wave.”

 

“But you're important,” Waverly says frowning. “You're the most important.”

 

And Nicole wants to refute that because  _ that _ trophy goes to Wynonna, or so she thinks, but then her eyes find Waverly's and the affection there, and the words fall quiet in her mouth. 

 

“I'm sorry,” Nicole says gently. “I just didn't want you to….”

 

“I'm always going to worry about you,” Waverly says with a frown. “You're a cop in a town where more bad crap seems to happen that our ridiculously small population should allow for, so you need to tell me regardless, ok?”

 

“Ok,” Nicole says nodding although she's only half listening because her heart’s on a line about twenty feet above her body because Waverly said  _ she's important. _

 

“Nicole?” Waverly asks, her frown deepening as she tries to catch Nicole's eye. “You have to promise.”

 

The concern in Waverly's voice brings her back to earth, grounds her, and she focuses on the beautifully pained face in front of her, her eyes silver and soft in the moonlight. 

 

“I promise,” Nicole says as she winds their hands together again, bringing them to her lips to kiss them. Waverly's face softens and calms and Nicole's own heart relaxes at the relief in its companion’s. 

 

The act of dropping her arm nips at her ribs again though and Waverly winces in sympathy as her forehead lines with pain. 

 

“Is it bad, baby?” Waverly coos, testing the word herself as her fingers move lightly over the bandage, up and up higher until they brush just below the underside of Nicole's bare breasts, Waverly's smirk telling Nicole she knows  _ exactly _ what she's doing. 

 

She doesn't know what she's more distracted about though, Waverly's touch or the sound that word makes falling from Waverly's mouth. 

 

“Terrible,” Nicole says with a grin as she bites her lip. Waverly's fingers touch an extra delicate spot though, just over a break, and her breath catches. 

 

“God, I'm sorry,” Waverly says moving to take her hand away before Nicole stops it with a quick touch. “I'm sorry, I just get carried away sometimes.”

 

“It's ok,” Nicole says gently, her chest warming at the thought of Waverly needing to reach for her. “My body is your body, ok? It's just a bit worse for wear right now.”

 

“What do you need?” Waverly asks gently, raising her wrist so she can kiss Nicole's hand where they're joined. 

 

“As much as I don't want to, sleep I think,” Nicole says regretfully as she frowns at Waverly. 

 

“Of course,” Waverly says, a small flicker of disappointment and regret crossing her face as she makes to move. “Of course, I'll leave you to….”

 

Nicole tightens her grip gently, smiling at Waverly's conscientiousness, her heart melting a little when Waverly understands the meaning behind Nicole's gesture. 

 

“Stay,” Nicole says softly. “Please.”

 

“Really?” Waverly asks, her body bending in relief. 

 

“Please,” Nicole says again and her body aches at the idea that Waverly thought she'd actually want to send her away. That she'd ask Waverly to leave and go home to a house smaller a sister without Nicole by her side. 

 

“Do you want to move?” Waverly asks, gesturing to the couch. “Or do you want to stay here?”

 

“I don't think I could move,” Nicole says with a wince, her muscles well and truly frozen now the buzz of the painkillers has gone. “But I know there's not a lot of room here.”

 

“It's ok,” Waverly says, moving slightly and patting her thighs gently. “I don't need to lay down, I don't think I'll sleep anyway. You can rest in my lap, if you want?”

 

Nicole looks at her, sweetness and strength and the glimmer of something more angelic behind her eyes and Nicole leans in to kiss her, winding her fingers through Waverly's hair before she breaks away and rests their foreheads together. 

 

“Thank you for coming here,” Nicole whispers against her lips while her heart fills with the other thank you’s she can’t say out loud because her throat feels too thick. 

 

_ Thank you _ for making sure I was ok,  _ thank you _ for telling me about Willa,  _ thank you _ for thinking I'm important. 

 

“Thank you for letting me stay,” Waverly says just as quietly and the silence around her words fills with unsaid thank you’s too. 

 

Waverly pulls away first, her eyes glassy as she hides a sniffle and gestures to her knees. 

 

“Now,” she says, puffing her chest a little as she shakes the devils from her eyes. “Sleep. And I'll watch, ok?”

 

Nicole smiles soft as she reaches down slowly to rearrange the blanket, covering them both as best she can before she lays her head on the pillow in Waverly's lap. 

 

She leans forward a fraction and presses a kiss to Waverly's thigh not covered by the cushion, mewling a little when Waverly's fingers settle in her hair and scratch soothingly against her scalp. 

 

“Sleep, baby,” Waverly breathes as Nicole closes her eyes. “I'll be here when you wake.”

  
  


-

  
  


**end**

**part one.**

  
  


-

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so nervous to share this so I'm dying to hear what you guys thought. I'd absolutely love it if you want to stop by below or come and say hi on [tumblr](http://tigerlo.tumblr.com).
> 
> I hope you enjoyed and I should have part two up in a week-ish? It's all done, just needs a good once-over. 
> 
> x


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